You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.

CALCUTTA's "The Telegraph" has got hold
of an answer paper of a
candidate at the recent UPSC examinations.The
candidate has written
an essay on the Indian cow:
HE IS THE COW "The
cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud,
and because he
is female, he give milk, but will do so when he is got
child. He is same
like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he
has got four legs
together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His
whole body can be
utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter,
cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful
to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.
His motion is slow
only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his
other motion is
much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat
cakes in hand and
drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after
eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the
inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His
only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is
got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, but not like similar animals.
It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to
frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body whereupon he
gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the
grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on
the ground and he shouts .His eyes like his relatives, the horse does not
do so. This is the cow."
We are informed that
the candidate passed the exam.
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